If you ever say never too late. I'll forget all the diamonds you ate. Lost in coma and covered in cake. Increase the medication. Share the vows at the wake.

After numerous clicks from the remote control because I can't find a sensible program to watch plus wavering choices of facing the television because I felt like not sleeping, I finally had Oprah catching my attention. I've been watching her show a few weeks now because of her captivating presence in the camera and humorous altitude in the midst of serious topics. But what really knocked me this night was the show's subject: BDD.

Body Dysmorphic Disorder or BDD is a mental illness in which a person sees himself as hideously deformed. One case for such was a 22 year-old guy named Jesse who says that he got acne all over his face, his eyes were lazy, and his nose was crooked with other ugly stuff he could ever think of. He spends a lot of time looking at the mirror and, seriously speaking, he couldn't even last an hour without constantly checking his physical abnormalities which, honestly, don't really exist. Jesse lost several jobs because of his condition and he can't even drive because he couldn't resist looking at the mirrors inside and out the car which may cause accidents. He had definitely lost the person within him. Another shocking case was about Jenny, a 28 year old lady who has had 26 plastic surgeries. She said that she just can't get enough of her face and body. She actually looked like a discarded version of Barbie. Odd huh?

Dr. Phillips, I forgot her first name, was the expert who discussed about the said disorder but I couldn't focus my attention on what she was saying. Her concepts resonated as whispers, nah... it seems like elusive hums to me because I was indulging in my own bed of thoughts. And there was one thing I could think of: discontentment.

Just like what Bobbi Brown says, "It's not about the pop culture it is about yourself." The pictures from magazines are works of art and they are unrealistic. We shouldn't live through fantasizing; we should face the real world. We compare ourselves to others yet we don't consider that each being is created different from one another.

Insecurities won't help you; you could just find yourself wretched and vanished. Instead of weighing your value through others' method of measurement, it would be saner to build your personality up. It is fine to be yourself. Stop acting like some sort of a con artist.

i went bonkers after watching narnia w/ my lilbro.
it is really good. i liked the flora and fauna stuff.
the animals gained a place in my heart. i just lurvee them...
the lion was so inspiring. wohoo. the witch was freezingly pretty. the wardrobe was, well, made of wood. lucy, susie, peter and edmond were priceless.

there are dramatic scenes but my tear ducts wont let an outburst even if i moan in my most pathetic way. haha.
---
insomniac na ata talaga ako. kasumpa-sumpang side-effect ng pristontale, gunbound, freestyle at silkroad. . .

i suck at being optimistic. so i decided to wash the dishes.
got me inspired for quite some time. and...

reality you say?
idiot there is none.
what lies beyond are schemes of deception.
we are bogus creations designed with deformations.
different fronts yet are identical shams.
synthetic creations meant for corruption.
you're hoping for sincerity?
a dupe you really are.
all that was established are shambles of hypocrisy.
our world is a phony paradise.
a plastic sphere of devious irregularity.
now hear me say,
the fact i'm most certain of.
everything is an illusion but misery.

hanep...napagpasyahan kong buksan ang telebisyon para tingnan kung anong meron dun, para hindi mainip dahil kelangan kong bantayan ang tubig, para subukan ang sabi ni elois at darrel..

eto nga pala ang mga nakita ko.

tama sila.

bury your depression & learn to live with it.