mistaking insanity for depth of character

changes

2009-03-07T16:41:00.002+08:00

this is a draft.

...and now i return to my humble abode. a year's passed since i entered this place.
i found it fun at first to get out of school (temporarily) and experience a new set of routine but...when it's all too much it makes you puke.

i don't know if this is really worthwhile but i have to find something...something that makes you think this kind of life is worth living.

i am a spoiler

2007-08-25T14:50:00.001+08:00

Naruto is the 4th's son. Naruto's parents are NAMIKAZE MINATO (4TH HOKAGE)and UZUMAKI KUSHINA =)

2007-05-31T19:35:00.000+08:00

Summer is at its end.

happy haus

2007-02-16T16:14:00.000+08:00

mygawdness. it's been eons since i've written something. tsk tsk.
lately, i don't even have the slightest time to look in the mirror to check on my face. i was and am still very busy. whenever i need to go to school, i just comb my hair even without looking at my reflection to see whether i look okay or not (this isn't an exaggeration).

kaya pala happy haus ang title ng post ko ngayon kasi sobrang naadik ako sa donuts ng happy/hapi haus sa casaa. lalo na ung mini-haus donuts...chokoleit saka dulce flavor. yumyum =) mura na masarap pa! kaya bili na!

hayy. di nga ako nakapag up fair ngayon. pupunta sana ako ngayon kc may orchestral accompaniment daw ung mga bands na tutugtog ngayon, kaso lang wala naman ung urbandub sa mag-pe-perform kaya wala lang, i think it's not worth it.

well, baka centuries pa ulit ang dumaan bago ako makapag-post ulit.

mish u all my blogfrens!

para kay kuya iskoo =) thanks for visiting

wafer

2006-12-29T02:23:00.000+08:00

balik ako sa sirkulasyon ng mundo...dahil malapit na mag new year kelangan ko na din magbagong buhay.

binago ko na ang aking layie. polkadots na...para swerte 'daw'=sana lumago ang piso ko sa alkansya. sana nga maalis na din ang katamaran ko na alam kong walang patutunguhan.

nakakatamad. sobra. nasasawa na ko sa buhay ko =(

di sa sawa na gustong tapusin ang buhay ko...di ako suicidal. sana may bagong ritual naman akong masusunod ngayong darating na taon.

salamat sa lahat ng ipinagkaloob sa akin sa magtatapos na taon. God bless us all!

a new found glory

2006-10-12T22:43:00.000+08:00

the most awaited sembreak is yet to come. and the full-pledged Naruto-disciple-me has resorted to its dojo of manga and never-ending fillers of Naruto. nyahaha. i am so damn friggin happy. i love you masashi kishimoto. Naruto fosters me with great strength and willpower to continue living. (sorry, i just can't contain it anymore T.T)

i got this really nice random bulletin post from friendster and i wanna share it to everyone. (this really hit me. muahaha)

Enjoy your exam.

XX

Name:_________________
Age when you stopped bottle drinking:_____

*WORLD HISTORY*
Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day,concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact onEurope, Asia, America, and Africa. Be brief and concise, yet specific.

*ASTRONOMY*
Define the universe; give three examples.

*MEDICINE*
You will be provided with a razor blade, a piece ofgauze, and a bottle ofScotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have 15 minutes.

*COMPUTER SCIENCE *
Write a fifth-generation computer language. Using this language, create acomputer program to finish the rest of this exam foryou.

*PUBLIC SPEAKING*
Twenty-five hundred riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient languageexcept Latin, Hebrew, or Greek.

*CIVIL ENGINEERING*
This is a practical test of your design and building skills. With the boxes of toothpicks and glue present, build a platform that will support yourweight when you and your platform are suspended over a vat of nitric acid.

*MECHANICAL ENGINEERING*
The disassembled parts of a howitzer have been placed in a box on your desk.You will also find an instruction manual, printed inSwahili. In 10 minutesa hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel is appropriate. Be prepared to justify yourdecision.

*ELECTRICAL ENGINEERING*
You will be placed in a nuclear reactor and given apartial copy of the electrical layout. The electrical system has been tampered with. You have seventeen minutes to find the problem and correctit before the reactormelts down.

*BIOLOGY*
Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500,000 years earlier,with special attention to the probable effect, if any, on the Philippine social spectrum circa 1640. Prove your thesis.

*RELIGION*
Perform a miracle. Creativity will be judged.

*MUSIC*
Write a full piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with a flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

*LOGIC*
Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your position.

*CHEMISTRY*
You must identify a poison sample which you willfind at your lab table. All necessary equipment has been provided. There are two beakers at your desk, one of which holds the antidote. If the wrong substance is used, it causes instant death. You may begin as soon as the professor injects you with a sample of the poison.

*PSYCHOLOGY*
Based on your knowledge of their early works,evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of thefollowing: *Alexander of Aphrodisias , Ramses II,Gregory of Nicea, andHammurabi.* Support your evaluations with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. Translate all quotations in Tagalog.

*SOCIOLOGY*
Identify the sociological problems which might be associated with the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

*ECONOMICS*
Describe in four hundred words or less what you would have done to prevent the Great Depression.

*MATHEMATICS*
You have 60 seconds to mentally solve the mathematical problem below. Begin.8,256.091 + _________ - ________ x ________ 8________ = -38.07623

(Bonus question: Why is 11 not pronounced onety one? Provide a full numerical analysis in justifying your answer.)

*POLITICAL SCIENCE*
There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.

*ART*
Given one eight-count box of crayons and three sheets of notebook paper, recreate the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Skin tones should be true to life

nothingness is an ulcer

2006-10-04T00:40:00.000+08:00

the hell week's just starting to unleash the inner demon in me. i have to finish my part in our group report today but i feel exhausted so i decided to whine in my blog today.

hmmm. i pity all the fallen trees all over up. the sunken garden looked like it has been showered with agent orange. just outside the gym the lush grass with the skyscraping-trees looked withered and lonely. the trees didn't just bent, nabuwal talaga. the roots were uprooted and you can even see their overlapping tap/fibrous root systems. it was devastating. some electrical posts are bowing dangerously and there were even power lines on the pathways where students walk. ampanget tuloy ng itsura ng up, parang malnourished.

kanina pa sa chem lab: i realized that a 3-hour class jampacked with discussion of never-ending dogmas about chemistry can cause an exponential disintegration of your brain cells. hooo...my prof's voice sounded more like a resonating exhaust fan and it was irritating. i can't even find a reason why we need to know the cleavage of peptide bonds within your digestive system. to hell with ___!

Puyatan moments ulit...

2006-09-29T08:49:00.000+08:00

so kamusta naman ang bagyo. mamaya may black-out na naman kaya magpo-post muna ko ng kaunti.

ang bagyong milenyo (int'l name: xangsane) ay nagdulot ng malaking pinsala sa buong Pilipinas, partikular sa bahagi ng Luzon. ang pinakabago ay ang pagkasira ng dam sa Gen. Trias, Cavite kung saan tinatayang 30 katao ang naanod sa pagragasa ng tubig.

so eto muna sa ngayon. magbabasa pa ko ng ibang balita. grabe. nakakalungkot talaga.

2006-09-27T14:25:00.000+08:00

masaya ako ngayon. dahil champion ang team namin sa ten-pin bowling interclass tournament kanina. sobrang pressure dahil una natapos yung men's division at inaantay nalang matapos sa women's division. lahat ng tao nanonood sa mga kaganapan. kapag may isang pin na natitira napapasipa ako. nakakahiya tuloy parang naging taekwondo ata yung version ko ng bowling. basta nakakatuwa talaga! nyahaha!

hindi expected yun dahil wala lang pero so very super duper happy kami dahil we won shirts and we also got medals. danda ng medal. hehe

yun, so parang iba ata mood ko today. haha! ansaya mag-bowling!

life on standby

2006-09-23T00:21:00.000+08:00

the birds will peck my flesh only to find out i have no guts.

a hollowness of my believing in everything but myself.

i watched some tv shows when i got home from school. as usual, i saw cruel people. people who barely care for the welfare of animals. the animals hurt were a goat and a brown bear. hay.
some of my exams have already passed by but my temptation to get a full sleep this night isnt sufficient enough to rid me off the urge of posting something, although this post dont have anything valuable to declare. nakakatamad. hay hay.

the irony of dying on your birthday

2006-09-21T08:11:00.000+08:00

You come over unannounced, silence broken by your voice in the dark. I need you here tonight just like the ocean needs the waves.

I barely express my emotions and, more often than not, people say I am cold. I am not. . . I really am not.

I reserve my feelings for those I consider worthy for it. I can be too numb but then I can also be a hopeless devotee.

I am not an emotional person but once this thing in my bosom starts its tyranny I feel so defeated. And so here it goes. . .

I hate myself for being so insensitive. Mister, I now feel how you felt years back. I dont know if you have been using voodoos or such to remind me of you but. . . I hate myself for being that stupid bastard who constantly wounded you with a thousand flying daggers since time immemorial.

Everytime the thought of you skulks in (the periods of which is every minute I am breathing) I want to hang myself. I hate me, I hate me, I hate me.

I want you to read this, although I know this thing I am wishing for is beyond reality.

2006-09-16T21:13:00.000+08:00

is being anti-social immoral?
i wonder who made the rule that we should be all that nice and bubbly every single day of our lives.
hmm...

2006-09-02T17:52:00.000+08:00

guess what?
i was a sit-in in my friend's make-up class today in biochemistry. i never thought this would happen again. he was there. he was my friend's classmate in biochemistry...ohmy.

he sat at the back just a few inches from me. i dared not to look behind because i feel really awful just having him in the same room. am i really doomed to be like this until i graduate? i don't wanna see him ever again within or out the campus.

oh please someone help me speculate a step on moving away from the propinquity of being insane.

2006-09-01T22:54:00.000+08:00

there's this really awkward phenomenon happening in my school life right now. it's not about acads and stuff...but about a person who has been a classmate for like more than 3 courses who i barely had given an acquaintance with. lest i forget, i know that he knew that we've been classmates way way back and he's giving me this really weird smirk as if i really planned on having him as my classmate for a couple of times. what the hell. fyi. we've been classmates for 2 PEs: duckpin bowling and tenpin bowling, for 2nd year 1st sem and 3rd year 1st sem respectively. plus a major subject which is bio 11.

ya, he's cute and all that but for paris hilton's sake (oh yea wtf.) it's really a complete coincidence. and lately this afternoon, after my pop culture class, i went rushing on to casaa to get my hand-outs for laboratory genetics passing by people who were eating their late lunch and some who were browsing other people's faces. i really looked haggard-ic and all when i asked mr. xeroxman about the hand-outs i've asked him to photocopy earlier. the all-so-frantic-me, much with a hobby of glaring around 360 degrees, got to see him again sitting near mr. xeroxman and...oh my he gave me this really blank + smiling (i think) face. i hate it. i looked away suddenly anxious because it really makes me sick. i hate all these coincidence which makes me look like a stalker to him, which is really beyond the possible.

uggghhh.

and oh yeah. this past week is super exciting (sorry i'm using so many extremes)...i got through all 4 exams from my major subjects but still left with a hanging part 2 exam from my statistics subject. i got these really black eyebags which i have forsaken a long time ago when i got addicted to online rpgs. i laughed all this off from our presentations (in pop cult class)mimicking the formulas of telenovelas or soap operas. i was ripping my ribs off until i felt i can't hardly breath. my midterms from chem lab also gave a surprise alert: out of 19 students, only 5 students passed the exam. yea cool. hell.

i got some good learning last night when mama taught me how do those kikay accessories. i made my own bracelet yay! and fyi it's not pink...it's silver plus black beads. want one?

ok. buhbye for now. i have make-up (not the makeover thingy) classes tomorrow.

Ang blogging bilang kulturang popular.

2006-08-23T13:39:00.000+08:00

i made this looong ang winding post because it seems that all my other posts are insensible. this is actually a midterm exam which was a take-home exam. mind you, it isnt an easy one. i think we shouldnt have agreed to accept it from out popular culture professor. how can you endure making an 11-page draft (palang ha!) midterm exam?

____________________

Inaamin ko isa akong blog aficionado. Dati hindi ko pinapansin ang mga bagay na ganito pero noong nagkaroon ang Friendster ng blog tuluyan ko na itong nakahiligan. Ngunit sa paglipas ng panahon nasawa rin ako dahil limitado lamang ang pwedeng gawin sa Friendster blogs, tulad ng pag-edit ng template atbp. na magagawa mo lamang kung magbabayad ng ka ng monthly fee, kung kayat na-engganyo akong gumamit ng Blogger. Ang blog, ayon sa Website na Marketingterms.com, ay isang frequent, chronological publication of personal thoughts and Web links, a kind of hybrid diary/guide site, although there are as many unique types of blogs as there are people. Nagsimula ang blog bilang underground ngunit sa kasalukuyan tinatayang may 200,000-500,000 blogs (Slaton) na ang matatagpuan sa Web. Paano nga ba naging kulturang popular ang blogging?

Ang unang katangian ng kulturang popular na maaring maiugnay sa blogging ay ang paggamit ng teknolohiya upang ito ay maipalaganap (Tolentino 7). Alam naman natin na bago ka makapag-blog ay kinakailangan mo ng kompyuter at access sa internet: mga bagay na bunga ng teknolohiya. Ngunit paano ang napagkaitan ng mga ganitong bagay at kaalaman sa paggamit? Patunay ng isa pang katangian ng kulturang popular, ito ay nagbibigay ng distorted images of reality (Storey 3). Maaari ka lamang makapag-blog kung may kakayanan kang gawin ito. Nagbibigay rin ito ng virtual na identidad sa bawat tumatangkilik, maaari kang mag-post ng pang-araw-araw na kaganapan sa iyong buhay: isang cyber diary kung baga. Pilit kang nakikiugnay sa ibang tao, kahit ang ipinakikita mo ay hindi mismong ikaw, upang maging in. Ginagawa rin ang blogs para sa kita: maaaring ang free weblog mo ay lagyan ng main server ng advertisements mula sa ibat-ibang produkto tulad ng mga cellphones, online degrees at ang walang kamatayang free cursors o screensavers. Habang tuwang-tuwa ang mga may-ari ng most-visited o most-popular blogs dahil marami ang tumatangkilik sa kanilang blog ay ganoon din ang pagkatuwa ng mga may-ari ng free blogsite mo dahil isang itong oportunidad para sa mas malaking kita.

Saan ba nagsimula ang blog? Di nakagigitla na sa Estados Unidos ito nag-ugat. Ang Estados Unidos ay itinuturing na sentro, urban at pangunahing prodyuser ng kulturang popular. Mismo, ang sentro ang nagtataguyod ng urbanidad at kosmopolitanismo (Tolentino 9). Kung kaya kapag ikaw ay tagapangtangkilik ng bagay na mula sa sentro, ikaw daw ay in o sopistikado, hindi ka nahuhuli sa pagiging urban o may bahid ka ng kosmopolitanismo. Ito ay maiuugnay pa rin sa mapaghangad na katangian ng bawat indibidwal, dulot ng nosyon ng kulturang popular na sado-masokismo. Hindi nagkakaroon ng kapanatagan kaya’t pilit na nagpapadala sa agos ng umuusbong na kulturang popular ang mga tagapag-tangkilik. Isang halimbawa: simple lang ang simula ng iyong blog, pangkaraniwang template lamang ang gamit mo ngunit dahil nakababasa ka na rin ng ibang blog na modified ang mga lay-outs nagkakaroon ka ng paghahangad upang mapaganda pa ang sa iyo hanggang sa magbayad ka na para sa mga bagong add-ins sa iyong blog tulad ng mga calendars, shoutbox atbp. Isang pagpapahiwatig na ang iyong kasiyahan ay materialistiko at patuloy na lumalala sa lalong paghahanap at pagtuklas upang mapunan ito. Ang ganitong konsepto ang kinakasangkapan naman ng mga kapitalista para sa mas malaking kita.

Ang blogging din ay nakapgsisilbi bilang medium para sa isang kolektibong ideolohiya. Pangkaraniwan ng mag-blog-hopping upang makabasa o makipag-socialize sa kapwa bloggers mo. Sa pamamagitan nito nakabubuo ng mga cyber communities sa Web. Maaaring may grupo ng bloggers na mahilig sa aso o grupo naman ng mga aktibista na nagbibigay ng kanya-kanyang opinion sa mga field na interesante para sa kanila. Karaniwan na sa tao ang mag-isip at magbigay ng impluwensiya sa kapwa, dulot nito binigyan ng palayaw ang blogs bilang hive brain (CNN.com). Ang blog ay nagiging pugad ng isang kolektibong proseso ng pagbuo ng mga ideolohiya na nagmumula sa mga tao ng ibat ibang lahi, edad, katayuan sa buhay, taas ng pinag-aralan, trabaho atbp. Bawat isang opinyon ay maaaring mapagsama-sama tulad ng pangkaraniwang konteksto ng pakikipagtalastasan sa pamamagitan ng comments o chatboxes na makikita sa mga blogs. Nagbibigay ng aktibong kaaliwan ang blog mula mismo sa mga kasali rito.

Maliwanag din na ang lumalaking komunidad ng bloggers ay isa pang patunay na ang blogging ay parte na ng kulturang popular bukod pa sa mga salik na inilahad.

Sources:

Tolentino, Roland. Introduksiyon: Ang Pagkatuto at Pagtatanghal ng Kulturang Popular. Sa Loob at Labas ng Mall Kong Sawi. (incomplete details)
Storey, John. What Is Pop Culture. An Introduction to Cultural Theory and Pop Culture. (incomplete details)
Slaton, Joyce. Just Another Co-Op? Blogging hits the mainstream, for better or for worse. SFGate.com 22.7 (2002): n. pag. Online. Internet. 19 Aug. 2006. Available: http://www.sfgate.com/cgibin/article.cgi?file=/gate/archive/2002/07/22/blogmain.DTL
Blogging goes mainstream. CNN.com 10.3 (2003) n. pag. Online. Internet. 19 Aug. 2006. Available: http://www.cnn.com/2003/TECH/internet/03/10/bloggers.ap/index.html

2006-08-20T00:11:00.000+08:00

what's the most self-strickening thing you've ever done?
i hate myself for being a selfish piece of crap who doesn't even bother about other people's feelings.

i am cold-->as cold as one can get~ like a frozen piece of meat needed to thawed in order to be cooked delectably. i wish i could conquer my indifference to people.

i am sorry [name concealed] for my lack of empathy. sue me and i'll pay you half the volume of my body's blood.
___

the weekend is for three days. woo. yea. shit holiday, again.
it really shoots at the wrong time. this vacation would leave me with a bigger amount of sums unpaid.

i was happy though...at last i found the track yellow moon from naruto & i finally knew how to edit some pix at macromedia...

who i am hates who i've been

2006-08-15T00:10:00.000+08:00

nabasa ko ang blog ng isang kaibigang malapit sa akin. namamangha ako sa tapang na ipinamalas niya para isambulat ang isang katotohanang maaaring nakakahiyang aminin. bilib ako. e-libs to the nth level, kasi di ko kayang gawin yun.

madami akong pagsisising pilit na tinatago pero iniisip kong wag ng alalahanin pa dahil wala na rin naman magagawa. isa lang ang natutunan ko sa buhay, minsan di kailangan si utak para mag-isip (maliwanag ba?)

hindi ako madaldal kung sa madaldal dahil pinipili ko ang mga taong binibigyan ko ng tiwala. uto-uto kasi ako mula pagkabata at sa nakasanayan kong ugaling ganoon...madalas lagi akong niloloko. pihikan ako pagdating sa kaibigan at hindi ako nagkukuwento kaagad ng kung ano nga ba ang buhay ko. kaunti lang ang nasasabihan ko ng buhay-buhay. sabi nga ng ex-lab partner at co-major ko "jaki, bat di ka nagkukuwento ng tungkol sayo?". haha. matagal ko na siyang kakilala, almost 2 years...kaklase sa major subjects at syempre friend ko na din...pero di ko lubos maisip na hindi pala ako nagkukuwento ng personal life puro acads and jokes lang ang napag-uusapan namin.

ewan. mahirap kasing magtiwala. ayoko na. (ulit) maloko... kasi kapag natunaw na ito at na-deform di na kayang pang ibalik sa dati pang anyo. parang bang tsokolate.

ok...tama na si drama.

2006-08-03T23:35:00.000+08:00

i'm so damn tired. i think (just thinking) i'm losing weight, coz my brother said that i really was losing weight.
i actually believed it since i am locked-and-loaded plus all my blood trickling out my head. im cramming to get all my stuff done.
i'm tired. so damn tired...and sick of this monopoly game. i wish sometime i would be the boss.

2006-07-31T22:30:00.000+08:00

wala lang. ubos oras na naman.
waaa...gusto ko ngayong maging isang chipmunk.
o diba...antakaw niya? mas malaki pa sa bibig ung nut...hehe.

2006-07-27T00:24:00.000+08:00

Just for the record, the weather today is slightly sarcastic with a good chance of:

[A] Indifference or [B] Disinterest in what the critics say.

uggh. this day reminds me of a foosa. i need alex the lion, the special forces of penguins plus king julien with all the choreo and stuff. bag-with-a-sack

2006-07-25T14:37:00.000+08:00

"If God sends us on stony paths, He provides strong shoes".

Corrie ten Boom

"If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Why doesn't glue stick to its bottle?

Why do you still call it a building when it's already built?

If it's true that we are here to help others, what are others here for?

If you aren't supposed to drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

We are a funny bunch of people, living in a seriously funny world".

Txt message

ghost recon

2006-07-15T14:20:00.000+08:00

hell.
im not fond of watching news...actually i dont watch news advisories. in fact, when i browse through the internet i barely gave my attention on reading the full length reports, instead i just read the headlines on yahoo! news and then fulfill my need to goof around my fave websites.

i went to school. the jeepney stopped near the law building, i got off and headed forward to my stat 101 class. during the lecture, i lent my ears to our professor and just dozed off from the ticking of the clock in our room. when all was over, i walked past through a lot of up buildings, barely noticing the posters of some activists which were said to be abducted by some armed men. i didnt give a damn, i just toddled on.

at our org tambayan, i did the stuff i ritually do. i sat, chatted with some orgmates and read my notes. then i noticed an issue of the school paper. it caught my attention when i saw that it was colored...i flipped throught the pages and read stuff about all the rallies, tuition fee hikes and abductions. wth...something stirred me.

parang may namukadkad. napaisip ako. grabe na pala. sobra. pero pagkauwi ko, tulad ng karaniwan kong ginagawa naglaro na naman ako ng freestyle at sro, tumingin sa mga bagong blogskins, nakinig ng ilang piniratang mp3s at namahinga. pagkakain, kinuwento at ipinakita ko sa nanay ko ang tungkol sa pandurukot ng ilan sa mga schoolmates ko. sinabi niya na natagpuan na daw ang bangkay ng isa sa kinidnap, nakita daw sa malabon at "decomposing body" na nga daw ika ni ina. nagulat ako, ano bang alam ko, eh nasa loob ako lagi ng kwarto at hindi ako nanonood ng t.v.

wala akong masabi, gusto ko lang mag-blog bigla. ang hirap, lahat pala tayo hindi na ligtas.
ansama ng pakiramdam ko ngayon. parang may isang drum ng hangin sa dibdib ko na gusto kong ilabas sa isang buntong-hininga.

tila may isang impyernong nagbabadya. shit.

balut, penoy

2006-06-21T16:05:00.000+08:00

"mag-aral maigi. kung titigil ka sa pag-aaral, manghihinayang ka pagtanda mo dahil hindi mo naranasan ang kakaibang ligayang dulot ng mga araw na walang pasok o suspendido ang klase o absent ang teacher. (haaay, sarap!)"

"mangarap ka at abutin mo 'to. wag mo sisihin ang sira mong pamilya, palpak mong syota, pilay mong tuta, o ang mga lumilipad na ipis. kung may pagkukulang sa'yo mga magulang mo, pwede kang manisi at maging rebelde. tumigil ka sa pag-aaral, mag-asawa ka, mag-drugs ka, magpakulay ka ng buhok sa kili-kili. sabandang huli, ikaw din ang biktima. rebeldeng walang napatunayan at bait sa sarili."

-stainless longganisa, bob ong.

i write sins not tragedies

2006-06-18T14:42:00.000+08:00

nyahaha...
grand theft auto. ito na ang simula. this is the moment. ang pagkakalat ng lagim.
wala akong magandang maisulat.
kamusta sa lahat ng mga minamahal kong kaibigan. bagaman hindi ko kayo madalas makausap, ipinapanalangin ko na lagi sana kayong nasa maayos na kalagayan. tc.

wa. nakakatamad.

the feeling of a denatured egg albumin

2006-05-16T09:26:00.000+08:00

your bonds outside are broken but you are still unharmed inside. you remain a complete being despite every shit thats swirling around you.
thats what a denatured egg albumin is like.

yehey. tapos na ang summer.

umuulan na.

mass convulsions

2006-04-10T00:49:00.000+08:00

She keeps a picture of the body she lends.

Got nasty blisters from the money she spends.

She's got a life of her own and it shows by the Benz

She drives at 90 by the Barbies and Kens.

If you ever say never too late. I'll forget all the diamonds you ate. Lost in coma and covered in cake. Increase the medication. Share the vows at the wake.

After numerous clicks from the remote control because I can't find a sensible program to watch plus wavering choices of facing the television because I felt like not sleeping, I finally had Oprah catching my attention. I've been watching her show a few weeks now because of her captivating presence in the camera and humorous altitude in the midst of serious topics. But what really knocked me this night was the show's subject: BDD.

Body Dysmorphic Disorder or BDD is a mental illness in which a person sees himself as hideously deformed. One case for such was a 22 year-old guy named Jesse who says that he got acne all over his face, his eyes were lazy, and his nose was crooked with other ugly stuff he could ever think of. He spends a lot of time looking at the mirror and, seriously speaking, he couldn't even last an hour without constantly checking his physical abnormalities which, honestly, don't really exist. Jesse lost several jobs because of his condition and he can't even drive because he couldn't resist looking at the mirrors inside and out the car which may cause accidents. He had definitely lost the person within him. Another shocking case was about Jenny, a 28 year old lady who has had 26 plastic surgeries. She said that she just can't get enough of her face and body. She actually looked like a discarded version of Barbie. Odd huh?

Dr. Phillips, I forgot her first name, was the expert who discussed about the said disorder but I couldn't focus my attention on what she was saying. Her concepts resonated as whispers, nah... it seems like elusive hums to me because I was indulging in my own bed of thoughts. And there was one thing I could think of: discontentment.

Just like what Bobbi Brown says, "It's not about the pop culture it is about yourself." The pictures from magazines are works of art and they are unrealistic. We shouldn't live through fantasizing; we should face the real world. We compare ourselves to others yet we don't consider that each being is created different from one another.

Insecurities won't help you; you could just find yourself wretched and vanished. Instead of weighing your value through others' method of measurement, it would be saner to build your personality up. It is fine to be yourself. Stop acting like some sort of a con artist.

aslan

2006-04-07T02:42:00.000+08:00

i went bonkers after watching narnia w/ my lilbro.
it is really good. i liked the flora and fauna stuff.
the animals gained a place in my heart. i just lurvee them...
the lion was so inspiring. wohoo. the witch was freezingly pretty. the wardrobe was, well, made of wood. lucy, susie, peter and edmond were priceless.

there are dramatic scenes but my tear ducts wont let an outburst even if i moan in my most pathetic way. haha.
---
insomniac na ata talaga ako. kasumpa-sumpang side-effect ng pristontale, gunbound, freestyle at silkroad. . .

:/

2006-04-05T00:29:00.000+08:00

i suck at being optimistic. so i decided to wash the dishes.
got me inspired for quite some time. and...

reality you say?
idiot there is none.
what lies beyond are schemes of deception.
we are bogus creations designed with deformations.
different fronts yet are identical shams.
synthetic creations meant for corruption.
you're hoping for sincerity?
a dupe you really are.
all that was established are shambles of hypocrisy.
our world is a phony paradise.
a plastic sphere of devious irregularity.
now hear me say,
the fact i'm most certain of.
everything is an illusion but misery.

---

hanep...napagpasyahan kong buksan ang telebisyon para tingnan kung anong meron dun, para hindi mainip dahil kelangan kong bantayan ang tubig, para subukan ang sabi ni elois at darrel..

eto nga pala ang mga nakita ko.

>sa piling mo= juday&piolo tandem. love story malamang.

>encantadia at panday= nililipat-lipat ko kapag commercial breaks. halos magkaparehas ung theme ng shows na to. tagalog na tagalog ang pananalita nila.

>kim san soon at princess lulu= nakakatawa si lulu pati ung partner niya, typical love story. ayos din ung kim san soon, malusog na masaya pa.

>jewel in the palace= di ko napansin napapanganga ako pag napapanood ko to. mamatay si lady choy! huwag pakainin ng bulalo ang buntis na high-blood.

>miss match= siguro kaya medyo gabi na to pinapalabas dahil sa explicit scenes...hoho.

>wildboyz= akala ko wala na to...husay andun pa rin pala. galing ni steve-o at chris. pati ung anaconda.

>totoo tv= nakakatawa si ariel at maverick. pati ang interviewee nila na si mayor binay. astig.

>i-witness= batang pusit ang subject. astig din pero parang may kulang?

tama sila.

bury your depression & learn to live with it.

like i care

2006-03-29T23:08:00.000+08:00

i finally got the stuff i wanted. i bought it wit elois. we got the same kind in different colors though. and man i was happy.

but things juz suddenly change.

everything is momentary and fleeting.

i was sick of *it. im already fed-up.

the pressure's killing me.

good thing. i cried about *it enough

^well, only for today^.

im really miserable because of *it

but it seems there's no way to escape *it.

the threshold is unbecoming.

im in the extent of disintegrating.

yea, like i care.

ugghhhH.

~~i know i do.~~

buti masarap ung polvoron

brid-p theory

2006-03-27T10:52:00.000+08:00

Human Psychologist-Biologist-Physicist associates popularly known as Jiraiya-sama of Leaf and Gaara-Kazekage of Wind put forward another theory, the BriD-P Theory. This has been made possible through the aid of another Neurosis-Blessed theorian tagged as Espesyal_na_Bata of Food Techies.

BriD-P Theory states that Every human being (homo sapiens-sapiens) whose astrology sign is Sagittarius or birth is within the month of December prefers Turon over banana-cue and carioca.

The virtual reason for their liking is the turon's crunchy and brittle texture when eaten that remarkably coincides with their intrepid personalities. The postulate stated above doesnt concern any individual who hasnt even heard or tasted Turon all his/her life. In addition, the theory is limited inside the Philippine archipelago.

out & in

2006-03-26T23:58:00.000+08:00

i got sick of the friendster blogs because when i tried attaching a pacman game there, through html, the game won't appear.
and so we're moving in here...